Mental Age: 11
Show on FBi: Stolen Records Sunset, 6pm till 8pm Wednesdays
Email @ FBi: stolenrecords@fbi.org.au
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How did you get into FBi?
This is a very good question. One that is probably on the minds of many Sydneysiders. How did I get into FBi? Who is responsible for allowing such a marvellous radio station to be utilised for the broadcasting of such smutty unfunny toilet humour and mind-numbingly mindless gangsta rap? Diabolical it is, diabolical.
What's your background?
Before using FBi radio transmissions to warp the minds of unsuspecting youth and use them in my evil plans to take over the world, I spun records in strip clubs. I used to play crunk and g-funk at such upstanding establishments as Playbirds International and Models. I did this for a number of years until all the free drugs and sex became too much too handle.
What has been your highlight of working at FBi so far?
Helping to put out the bestest compilation ever compiled in the history of compilation compiling – FBi 94.5FM Presents Stolen Records. Aussie Hip Hop at it’s greatest. And of course another highlight was the launch of the compilation at Candy’s Apartment with Bliss N Eso, Bass Elefant, Sleeping Monk and an amazing crowd cramped in for one of the biggest bashiest parties of the millennium.
Who are your favourite artists/bands/acts?
Right now I’m listening to Diplo Rhythm this track is hella catchy. Sandra Melody and Pantera Os something or other seriously kill it. Oh and this new Amerie track, One Thing. I got this Sticky rhythm n grime garage version. I have listened to it about seventy times today. And I am also rediscovering my love for Tricky’s cover of Black Steel. For now these are my favourite artists.
What are your all time favourite albums?
The first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie soundtrack would have to be my all time favourite album. I listened to that over a million times. It had classics like T-U-R-T-L-E POWER and Spin That Wheel. Unfortunately my tape mysteriously disappeared when I was at school camp. I am still searching for the culprit responsible. Revenge will be mine.
Which star are you dying to get into the studio for an interview?
I would have liked to have had the right honourable Ol Dirty Dirt McGirt a.k.a. Big Baby Jesus in the studio with his 18 children and several of his babies mommas for one of those celebrate family Oprah sort of interviews. But unfortunately he was assassinated.
What's your favourite club/venue?
Most Fridays you can probably find me at Boogie Down at Candy’s Apartment, Kingscross. Other than that I go to random dancehall reggae nights trying to find my next ex-wife. Nasty Tek’s monthly night at the Clare is pretty alright.
What are your favourite websites?
Internet, yeah I heard about that thing. But you know, in the hood we just go to the club if we wanna see porn, nahmsayin dawg.
What's your motto?
If you never try, you can’t fail.
Which famous person (dead or alive) would you invite for dinner?
I want dinner and a couple of babies with Neneh Cherry just the way she looked and sounded on her first album. I need a girl like that to yell at me in spanglish, burn all my clothes when I cheat and generally make my life a living misery.
What gets on your nerves?
People that do not move to the back of the bus. This is humanity at its worst. Such people should have their oxygen rations confiscated. You are not worthy. You are all going to hell.
Tell us about the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you.
Everyday there is a new one. Too hard to pick just one. I’m a general write off of a human being.
Any extraordinary hobbies?
I got an excellent celebrity booger collection, probably the best in the southern hemisphere. Mr T, Cameron Diaz, Raekwon the Chef, Boris Becker, Don Burke, Jerry Seinfeld, all the stars. Keep diggin god.
When was the last time you were really proud of yourself?
One time I reluctantly ended up at this Japanese restaurant where they throw food at you. Fresh dressed I didn’t wanna stain my shit. Nahmean, I was sporting my best baby blue Kanye West style argyle jumper. But in the end I didn’t end up dropping a thing and actually, actually caught a prawn shell with chopsticks. All the dudes on my table were born with chopsticks in they hands and still were not capable of this feat. Even the chef was surprised. This is my most used anecdote and probably the highlight of my existence. A prawn shell, caught with chopsticks. Like whoa!
Any last words you have for our listeners?
Levins has man boobs and sits down to pee.
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© 2003